Once, I heard from an ex-lover who was upset with me about something that I had said and done,

And he asked me, “Did you notice this…?”

As I thought about it, I realized that my ex did not realize the times that he said and did the very same thing, and much worse.

On the contrary, he was the one who did not notice or recall the times that his behavior was painfully abusive and absent: totally unacceptable.

He did not notice that he was hurting me and the future of our relationship beyond comprehension.

He did not notice how dishonest he was about his feelings and about his concern for my feelings, or my well-being.

He did not notice how unwilling or perhaps unable that he was to change and grow.

These are the things that he did not notice when we were together and in love.

And, these are the things that he probably will not notice until I am safely in the arms of someone who knows how to give and receive love.

© 2019 annalise fonza, Ph.D.