I did not fully understand the concept of unearned anger or guilt until I was in a relationship with someone who hated women; and, therefore, whenever I said or did something that reminded him of the women that he hated, he hated me: just like that, as if I had harmed him or taken something from him.

A time or two or three or four, I went back because I did not want to believe that he was filled with so much hatred and contempt for women, yet he was.

No matter what I did, or said, he continued to treat me with hate, anger, and contempt when things did not go as expected, or his way.

Finally, the best thing that I ever did in response to his hateful outbursts was to leave the anger, hate, guilt, and contempt alone, with him, where it belonged.

© 2019 annalise fonza, Ph.D.