Making it Hard for Ourselves: the Politics of Resistance

Recently, a man that I know – a  black man who alleges that he loves me – had this to say to me from out of the blue (and over text):

You make it hard on yourself because you choose to be [publicly] an atheist and a womanist…it just seems like “you black women” want to struggle.

What he did not know, or realize, was that the most powerful people on planet Earth are the ones who dare to resist the abuse and terror of white-dominated institutions and any misogynistic behavior, when to do so would go against the grain, or the norm; and when  to do so might make life “hard” for them.

I am so very grateful for the people and the institutions who struggled against injustice and risked their lives and what they had to make the world that we know a better place for all. Indeed, there is no better sacrifice, than to lay down one’s life for a friend, and for others…when you don’t have to. Deep down, I think the greatest people in the world knew that their struggles (the ones they did not have to take on) would enrich and sustain the lives of others.

A person or institution who only uses his power when it is acceptable or popular or safe is not powerful. He is a conformist, and he is afraid. This is a man who does very little, if anything, for anyone besides himself or his immediate family members; and, unfortunately, there are many like him. I’m sure you know some; the ones who sit back (from behind their masks) and criticize those who are willing to stand up and take the risks that they feel are necessary. That criticism is a projection of their feelings of inadequacy and fear, and it has no power to stop anyone from being who they want to be in life, even though it is meant to intimidate to bully, and to shame others, which is a reflection of the shame that they feel about themselves and their actions and inactions.

I am very proud to identify myself, in public, as an atheist and as a womanist; and this even more so every day, because in the the name of so-called gods, men and religion have torn this world apart, as well as the beings who live on it. Men and religion have predominantly been the ones to bring violence and destruction to the Earth and its inhabitants.

As for the man who said those words to me – you make it hard on yourself – he never really got me, and he probably never will, and that is okay. Because if standing up for myself, and for others, is seen as “making it hard on myself,” then so be it, for it is something that I hope I have the wherewithal to do until the day that I die.

Because the struggle is life and the struggle will continue.

© 2017 annalise fonza, Ph.D.

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Black Women, Motherhood and the Resolve to Live Anyhow: a random thought on freedom now

I am in a bakery finishing my coffee and a young black woman who works here ends her shift. She leaves and returns momentarily carrying her beautiful baby in a car seat to show off her infant child to her co-workers (and to curious customers like me who want to have a look). We all oooh and aahh over her child and her pride as a mother. Then, as I think to myself, just 40 or 50 years ago this probably would not have happened or been possible here in the #ATL in a local bakery and in a part of the city that is predominantly white and affluent.

Just that fast, it dawned on me that black mothers in the U.S. have not experienced this kind of social affirmation and personal freedom for very long at all, for once they were not permitted to show this kind of love and motherly identity so freely in public spaces. When black people like me consider the struggles of our mothers and grandmothers in a world controlled and defined by white cultural practices and values, we have much to be thankful for. And upon that consideration, all of us, regardless of color, can be aware of what it took for non-white mothers to live anyhow in the face of those controlled and diminished by the hate and disregard of black mothers in particular. Finally, we must then remember, in light of the recent Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision, that the next generation of women won’t be able to live so freely in the future unless we do our part to secure their freedoms now.

© 2014 annalise fonza, PhD