I know a black man who was betrayed and abused by black women who once said they loved him, and who once should have loved him.
And so, subconsciously, when he is afraid of losing her, he abuses and abandons nearly every black woman who desires to love him.
This makes him feel worse, and even more abandoned and afraid.
And, as most self-fulfilling prophecies work, he uses his own actions to falsely blame black women for the recurring pain that he inflicts upon himself.
I used to think that he did not know how to love.
But now I realize that he is afraid, perhaps even terrified, of love, and the memory of being betrayed and abandoned.
And that’s why he will abuse nearly every black woman who desires to love him.
Until he decides to break the cycle of abuse.
© 2017 annalise fonza, Ph.D.